CHRISTOPHER BAKER
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Luna Chooses Neither Side

Professor Noblehorn
I do not know if you have noticed, princess…but you have agitated both sides in this conflict. Personally.

Luna
The most fun way to stay neutral.

Professor Noblehorn
Your father would have preferred the “attack no one” method of neutrality.

Luna
Oops.

Professor Noblehorn
Now both sides actively seek to destroy us.

Luna
Oops again. Look at the bright side, doc…

Luna
We’ve got all the souls we need now—and we’ll get more from this war we’re now part of.

Gobbo
Kill! Kill! Kill! Hoo-wah-hoo-hoo!

Professor Noblehorn
Your “bright side” is awfully dark.

[Luna gathers all the Souls she needs to progress, having fought several battles against each side. This plays after her final battle against Lord Branwarden's troops.] 

Luna
Had enough?

Lord Branwarden
I am hurt. Very badly. But I’ll live.
My men may be routed. My lands wrested from me.
But with Ardath by my side, I have plenty to live for.

Luna
Jeez… Melodramatize much? 

Lord Branwarden
My love! She joins us now!

Empress Ardath
Just one of you, dahling…

Lord Branwarden
Begone, Luna, foul princess of darkness!

Empress Ardath
And she’s the one I’m joining.

Lord Branwarden
What?! No! But our love…

Empress Ardath
Was a trial run. You blew it. I’m out.
I’m sure Princess Luna will welcome my legion of succubi in her Deadrealm reclamation efforts.
[At a gameplay level, this choice awards Luna more troops.]


Luna
For a second even I thought you were legitimately into him.

Empress Ardath
I was. Then I wasn’t. You know how it goes.

Luna
Fair enough. ​Welcome to the team.

Empress Ardath
Oh, I'm going home to the Deadrealm, dahling.
Two shattered hearts in one day. My work in the Kingdom is done.

Luna
Oh? Broke the news to Neew, didja?

Empress Ardath
And I leave it to you to ACTUALLY break him. Physically. To pieces.​
You know where to find his vile—yet very heartbroken--soul.

Luna
Sulking with Dad at the Gloomy Goat, no doubt. Thanks for the tip.

Next: A Broken Heart
© 2014-2023 Christopher Michael Baker​
  • Home
  • Résumé
  • Portfolio
    • Narrative / Writing >
      • Operencia Writing
      • Circus Electrique Writing
      • CastleStorm II Writing Samples
      • Marvel Writing & Gamedev >
        • Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions Contributions
        • The Amazing Spider-Man Game Contributions
        • Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Contributions
        • Marvel Pinball Contributions
        • Misc. Quick Hits -- Contributions to Other Games
    • PR & Marketing >
      • Game Trailers
      • Panel Appearances
    • Official U.S. PlayStation Magazine >
      • OPM Features
      • OPM Game Reviews
  • Gameography (Giant Bomb)
  • Fun Stuff
    • Superhero.VG (YouTube)
    • "X-Wings, Lightsabers, and Scorpion Vader: Celebrating Star Wars Video Games"
    • "WRONG! Retro Games, You Messed Up Our Comic Book Heroes!"
    • Willow Talk: A Willow Podcast
    • Featured in Scholastic's "Hot Jobs in Video Games"
    • Medium Blog
  • Kinda Dated (2014)
    • Testimonials
    • Older Portfolio